Friday, May 8, 2009
Walking in the "dessert" can create a beautiful understanding of who you really are, the secret to this process.... is "viewing" what lays before you with optimism. If we can learn to stop being victims and take control of the day with a clear perspective and meet the trial head on, with the willingness to learn , no matter how intense the challenge may be..... you have conquered.
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Ah the desert a lonely place but so necessary.It isthe place we can reflect and to be with ourself. I have heard that you should crawl arund inside yourself and see wat you feel like ( not look like)if it feels icky nd you do not want to be in there then most likely others feel the same way around you. The beautiful thing about the desert is that after you go thru it the next part is the DASH where you now see the goal so clearly and you run like hell towards it and nothing can get in your way. All because you went to the desert.Sometimes we go willingly and other times we are thrust...either way it's all good.
Ahhhh yes my padawon.... I believe you see.... colorado has been such a good "desert"!!!
Your area of the "desert" must be good for you, 'cause your picture appears to be full of sunshine and health...."Great to see you"...it has been too long. Have you discovered agave in your part of the world? Ummm deliscious. Hey, I love reading Hinds Feet in High Places also. Much love from another "High" and Heavenly desert. Love, Linda Starr
It has been a while since my last posting.... more desert :) but I believe I have returned much stronger... So what does "fear" impose on you? for me its a road block... it feeds negative mutations from the past, which does not let me progress. It supports the "lie" I'm not good enough.... It freezes the mental processing which enables you to move on... A huge accomplishment through desert valleys is to recognize and move past the fear.... sometimes crawling, but never-the-less in motion... We are endowed with much more than we realize from above.... and nothing is wasted on the journey to clarity...
Fear for me is much the, same full of self doubt and unworthiness. I heard once that fear and faith cannot exist in the same realm so fear not looks like lack of faith which I am at a place where I do not like the thought of that. I want to believe that I am a women of faith and so I keep moving thru my fears. Like you said sometimes crawling but non the less moving. For me this did not happen quickly (getting to think that I am a women of faith)I have had many opportunities(trials) to help me learn this. Where there is fear there is also no hope..another lonely place that I am not fond of. So the opposite of fear to me is courage fear turns into courage.. if you do not let it paralize you. Yes we were created in Gods image so we posess far more than we think but we are capable of tapping into those things of courage if we take that leap of faith.
Looking out my kitchen window and pondering the dormant vegetation.. I see and feel more than the eye permits....Yes it is cloudy and gray, there are no green leaves to adorn the trees, flowers or vines, they are all asleep but nevertheless still alive! Oh the seasons of life how magically intrusive they can be... it is a wonder that from the moment we take our first breath, we begin on a journey of change. Even the seasons ask us to shift with them!! and oh how we complain when its not convienent, we are comfortable creatures are we not? maybe the key is to learn to "shift" with change, to allow new experiences to meld with our current consciousness to become what the Creator designed for each of us...to emerge anew.... Yes, there will always be more, if we 'choose' to seek for it.... no room for complacency here.... what do you think?
It has been a while since my last post... I have been traveling through past memories and learning to equate the journey with clarity. A feat not easily accomplished when emotions come in to play, but non-the-less possible. I am back for now...
....."searching for home" what does that look like? I've had this fascination with europe for many years,but have not been able to go there just yet. I've lived in new york with a plethora of cultures to draw from, and I can honestly say that I have done just that.... and with such great pleasure.I love people and all that they are to me... Teachers, teachers of many things, good and bad. True seekers will understand me when I say " I miss home" and have come to see pieces of home in every culture, maybe that's why europe "is" such an prevailing call to my heart...as though I will find another piece of me in them that only european blood can ignite. Maybe the course to my personal journey is just waiting for me to figure it out... :) What do I want? I want to "see" more... and those of you that really know me, understand what that means....So the thought for the day is..... what are you doing to find "your" personal journey? singing? writing? cooking? painting? what brings out your creative side? I believe the creative side is the one that calls to us for more... listen.
I'm so proud of you Marmie
its an honor to be yours
I know love. Thank you mom
Words……….
The journey past “myself” begins with a query of many things…. As I search through the path that has led me to this place, I realize it is a culmination of many words. Words that have impacted the choices I would later make. It is interesting how mere words can affect a life with incredulous control to create “so called” permanent imprints into our consciousness . Dictation from this consciousness moves us to action and sadly, unawares we trege through life with unnamed mutations. These mutations become the guide to further realization or handicaps that cripple us more and more as time moves on. So the real battle we have is with ourselves and what we truly choose to believe. The key word is “choose”, but before choosing, realization should be the forerunner. So that “recognizing” can be the teacher. This teacher will have many names and take various forms…. It has been known to be labeled terms such as divorce, drugs, dependency, death, delusion, friendship and heartache, essentially it encompasses all human contact and experience. Foe or friend, how we label these “teachers” becomes the set of rules we will follow and live by…. So get to know your teachers……
Beckey- the yellow monkey
It is Easter morning and spring is in the air.... how wonderful!
There are times in life when you reflect much deeper, this is one of those times.... At this point in my life, I see things in a different way, and find that it no longer matches with some people in my life. And getting to being ok with that has been the greatest challenge for me so far. It is difficult to move on from what you thought you knew and had with people, and yet, the truth is we are all evolving... so change is eminent. We humans need the constant in our lives,that safe, clear and constant place of truth. "The place where you are known"....May those that have it always honor it; and those that don't, may they one day find it. Until then, be good to yourself....
Finding who you really are is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself..... I have discovered that it will take several (or more) attempts and many falls before you can sit in the light of your own countenance..... Happy polishing.
Well apparently I am in need of a good rub down:) I am in need of a temple day to help me. I could say that is like a spa day because of how I feel when I leave. Are you up to a day with me, i know your busy with school. Let me know if it works.
A woman should never say no to a spa day:) lets do it my sis.... :)
You can't look at the sky and say there's no hope.....Nature is that way too, leaves messages and imprints if we are willing....
This morning I realized my "pot of stew" is not complete... I who love to cook, need some extra ingredients. Symbolically of the cultural diversity I seek and need; this reminds me it is not finished until I have found what I am looking for... And that will entail much more traveling in a different way.. atreviesamos.....
One of the beauties of life is realizing there is so much more than we can even imagine. The "more" entails being open, open to accepting life's idiosyncratic metaphors that lead you to uncovering many treasures.....So are we there yet? A question children will frequently ask when impatient when waiting for a particular destination. My hope is, not yet... I still want to see more, there are still too many things I want to discover and this earth is replete with such diamonds in the rough. I don't want to miss a thing...
Had a wonderful mother's day, more so a weekend!! thank you children.... Truly the role of mother is ever evolving with time,you have to be a pretty strong soul when trying to figure all that out....and yet, the motivator will always be love. You can't look into your children's faces and not resolve to do whatever it takes..and yes, it is always worth it! love you children:)
It is no wonder fighting for your dreams is met with so much opposition,the accomplishment thereof sets you free.....free of the negativity that riddles you with unworthiness. Press on, its worth it.
Considering that we are all getting older and will eventually become more dependent..... its a good idea to learn to shift with the waves of life. Something I've been working on for a while now. :).............
It is interesting how my computer still pops up a window I have deleted many times... It is a backup window, one that allows my virus protection to "back up " my files. Time and time again I have removed, canceled and deleted this pop up, but it continues to surface. This reminded me of the record players in our minds, where experiences and information was stored. But it follows with the need to be consistent with removing, casting out and just plain redirecting your thoughts. The mind is like a computer, where all things are stored, it is important to recognize negative thoughts so that "we don't do what we have always done".....(this of course is referring to negative outcomes in our lives).
This will take time and effort and isn't for the weak and unwilling. It is an excercise of a muscle that needs constant care and attention. It is completely doable though and is worth all the effort. The opposite of not taking the time takes up more energy actually but we just don't notice it because it was a gradual drain. We didn't aquire these negative thoughts over night so why do we think they will disappear over night? But they will not take a life time IF we choose to ask our Savior to help us and use the atonement every step of the way. I love that we worship a fouth watch God who waits and walks beside me but allows me to use and grow muscles of faith in my abilities to change things about myself that I don't like or need. But he will come in and rescue me when I have done all that I can do and only He knows when I have done that.I can just hear Him saying just a little bit more I know you can do it! Forgiveness is the only time He comes in the first watch and does not make me wait! I know it sounds like I got off subject but with some resent discoveries I know it is very on topic. The trash button on your computer should be in your brain too! Delete and trash negative thoughts..clean up the mind:)
Brigham Young once said: "the greatest challenge we will ever have is to conquer the mind". Our thoughts not only live in the mind, but in the body. A direct result from experiences, environment and blueprinting...
The creation of human satisfaction is a diverse and endless journey of aesthetic,emotional, physical and spiritual realities.No matter what our environments may look like,what matters most is how and what we think. Our thoughts control our actions. Our actions,lead us to happiness or disappointment. "But" is disappointment a negative emotion? Of course not! Disappointing or disparaging moments just allow us to dig deeper. And if we look hard enough, we will see that we are not alone. The truth is.... if we can't give each other hope in one way or another, we are missing out.
If we stand behind the curtain, how will we ever know what we can accomplish on stage? This type of courage entails just a willing heart that knows there is so much more than is presently in their life. "More" just means deeper for me. This "more" is what I'm searching for in people, and yet so hard to find.....
Learning to laugh from within, your gut, your core..... makes all the difference in how you see your problems.
Packing, moving,unpacking,settling in,packing, moving, unpacking, settling in........ The process of defining and redefining all the time, what a gift for growth!
Brick by brick we begin to understand, "IF" we are open in the moment. :)..........................
I love who I am when I'm being true to me.....................!
When in the process of being yourself,it is unmistakable that opposition,ridicule and sometimes oppression will be one of your contenders..... though this may be true from others, the greatest stagnation will come from your own perceptions of yourself. You are worth it!! Use "your" time wisely...... Learn to BE.......
Yellowmonkey and Rebecca are the same person. Not sure why this converted :)
Journaling is one of the best ways to uncover unconscious thoughts.Begin with any thought in mind, and then just write! Don't stop until you have reached the point of clarity. You will know this place because it will feel different and ring of truth. Stay there and look around a while,be vigilant for yourself.If you get discouraged it will stop the process,believe that you are worth the journey to peace. It is wonderful to finally see your mutations! For now you can do something about it.... Namaste
I watched Marley and me last night, john one of the main characters wanted to be a reporter more than anything.But is offered a job as a columnist, to which he feels is not him..... finally after some time, he's offered " the position" as a reporter. In his first article in this capacity, the editor reminds him that the job description of a reporter is to tell the facts... and that putting his perspective in the article is unacceptable. John of course struggles with this, because now he enjoys being free to write whatever he's thinking about. something has changed in john, he see's himself differently now, and he likes it. Sometimes we find ourselves doing things that are
uncomfortable, sometimes being uncomfortable is exactly what we need...... to discover who we are.
"Epistemology" a word defined by how we choose to express our journey of life. The definition of the word states it is: "the study of knowledge", and depending on where this knowledge journey takes you or more accurately where YOU choose to go with it, is WHAT your personal epistemology will become. And we get to choose everyday.....
As the rhetoric continues to expand between both parties this political season, I find myself turning the TV, radio and internet off. I find neither side wishes to find truth but more so prove the truth according to the "facts" from their own perceptions. It is saddening to my heart as bridges of understanding are non-existent. I suppose this will only become even more intense as time moves forward. God help us all..........
Sweet moments are the fillers that help us to not see but understand "life" so much more.... I am grateful for all who have become a "part" of my sweet moments.. Recognizing this is what invites me to change for the better and how beautiful that process really is..
The more I experience "life" the more patience I develop, realizing that the fragile and yet tumultuous nature of human beings is diverse and varies from person to person. This patience reminds me that everyone has a story they operate from.We humans have this gift of loving unconditionally,but sometimes this love allows too much blindness (one sided perceptions) to interfere with sound reasoning. But alas, none will escape opportunity, each of us must choose what, where, and how we want to be. Despite hardship of any kind, we can still choose. We have all read, heard and listened to determined spirits that overcame difficult challenges...... They are here to teach us, so what's you're excuse?
Watching a woman in church sitting in her wheelchair, as she juggled three small children waiting for their turn with mom. Grandma was close by, looking tired, and trying to keep the other two happy while mom took precious moments with one. Its times like this that you see the face of determination without reservation. Everyone can teach you something.....
As we come to a close of 2012, it is natural to reflect upon the experiences of the past year. It is healthy to ponder, glean, or discard any unproductive thoughts. I am grateful for the angels that have been by my side (my daughters) every step of the way. They claim I have taught them. but I submit it takes one to know one.... Choosing to sink or swim is such a personal decision, but one thing is for sure..... It takes an "example" of swimming to know what it looks like. And I'm eternally grateful for the ones in my life.
Happy New Year.......
Understanding the things my mother went through will take a lifetime for me to figure out. I am now more grateful than ever before for this process, as I am finding hidden treasures in the process...... Ah another desert before me that undoubtedly will yield much fruit.
Today I asked myself a question that revealed a hidden pain. The path took me back to many years past, when I was young and helpless. At the time, I learned quickly to combat this pain by ignoring it; I was far too young to ever know what to do about it, and since everyone else seemed to ignore it, then why shouldn't I? (Oh the messages that become our future mutations.....) But for some reason,today was different. Maybe because I was ready to know, or just plain exhausted from running a race I never belonged on.
But here I was allowing silence to present "Grief" to me.( A true friend I didn't know I had.....)
As grief presented the details that held me captive far too long, I began to recognize the missing pieces of my life's puzzle. Pieces that were ambiguous, confusing and extremely invalidating. The truth is it is quite debilitating and taxing to live that way, and no one should have to.
To use the word "lament"(mourn or grieve deeply)would be a close approximation, but not completely fitting to express what happened. You see, I am not sure there are words to express the souls gratitude for this kind of peace and truth. I am reminded of the words from "Amazing Grace, I was once lost and now I am found" soul reaching words that can only be understood from those on similar journeys. Pain and grief are the antithesis of joy "if" we are willing. It is a gift to rise from obscure mutations...and I'm grateful for the process despite any Goliath's I may still encounter..
And, we all know how that story ended... (wink wink)
Namaste
As I wander through the journey of life, I am filled with the majesty of nature and the power of reflection it affords me. It is this reflection, that motivates me towards inner peace with myself and the possibilities still awaiting me.... Life is ever changing.
"Motherhood" a journey too detailed to be defined with words, but filled with endless acts of love. This love has many definitions: sacrifice, pain, suffering,protection, teaching, discipline, perseverance, joy and the list goes on. Suffice it to say, the depth can only be fully understood by the mother that decides to prepare her child for life, come what may.........
I love being a mother....
More thoughts today......
While listening to my daughter practice a song for a competition, and becoming immersed with the words... something once again awakened my soul towards self reflection. I began considering my own voice, (no I don't sing, at least as well as she does :)), my voice is written. I had made a promise that I would write every week, and I haven't fulfilled that promise...The great part about this is, "I STILL DECIDE HOW MANY TIMES I GET BACK UP" . So here I go again, and as many again's as it takes to finally cross over fear. Thanks jazz.....
When the children were young and money was scarce, as it always was... I started having three dollar parties with them. It consisted of a bag of kernel popcorn, bag of chips and Hawaiian punch, soda or kool aid. Seven children, one mom and some goodies and a lot of imagination! The imagination part consisted of anything from games such as hide and seek to a Disney movie. I would begin this journey with a question: "how about"....... and their anticipation of my answer would cause this metamorphic reaction on their bodies that resembled Mexican jumping beans. The pleasure I received from watching them jump around in jubilation and excitement, closed all doors to my financial stresses. They just did not exist during those times. What pure days those were..... Simple treats and a whole lot of fun with one another.
Fast forward 15 years.... the girls and I are "tight" (financial) once again, and last night while laughing about our situation and reminiscing about those earlier days, we are still planning "three dollar parties". The fun part hasn't changed but now, they "get" so much more than they did back then. Thank you girls for remaining so tight ( not financial)after so many years..
:)................................
While watching a commercial on the travel channel, I am reminded of all I still want to accomplish in this life. After doing all that I can, the waiting part is the hardest. Staying open to life's messages is enlightening,and understanding that the "keeper" of the stars is ever present to bless us with exactly "what" we need "when" we need it is beautiful......no worries, HE'S watching over us...
If you're having a bad day,change the CD playing in your mind....
Its great to know that we can always rearrange the furniture.... Just another physical reminder of rearranging negative thoughts as well. Or in other words, turning lemons into lemonade....
It has been a while.... And yet a very necessary component to clearing things out. That has been my directive for some time now. It is interesting how mutated thoughts can multiply and continue to distort even remotely sound reasoning! Hence clearing out, rearranging, getting rid of and just plain cleaning can all be powerful tools for self efficacy. The key is not to see these things as a chore, but a wonderful experience for releasing road blocks. Happy cleaning.....
I hope one day I am just like you Marmie! Love you with all my heart
A Mantle-- to clothe, cloak or envelop. All three words describe actions from a source that is keenly aware of responsibility and love. Examples of "mantle holders" are everywhere.... Whether you are a grandparent, parent, spouse sibling, friend, or employer, each of you will find yourself holding one or more of these positions in your lifetime. Respecting the power these mantles have afforded us, will bear the fruit of our tenure. Some personal definitions about the words.....
To clothe: provide necessary needs essential for emotional and physical well being.
To cloak: a large tarp that is velvety soft on the inside and extremely durable/tough on the outside.
To envelop: surrounding the incumbents with powerful tools towards making the world a better place. In essence, standing at post......
:)
I belive in you Marm. I believe in the change. Let's do this :)
Ah my young but wise padawan, your eyes are open.... And you see! The world will be greatly blessed because of you my bark,(I know I and many others already have) keep going......I believe in you, always have.... :)
Failing is a human condition we will all experience from time to time. There is a difference between failing and being called a failure. Failing at something to me means I need to reevaluate my approach to something. Calling someone a failure is much harsher and condemns the individual. The truth is "Failing" at things makes us stronger if we let it. Society is replete with individuals that did not let "failing" to define them. Parents have the sacred duty to help their children feel worth it, capable and cherished no matter how many times they fail.
One of the beautiful things about life is change. Now, some individuals may not agree with me on this, and that's ok. But change, even in the things we love the most makes the situation even more beautiful "if" we are willing..... Of course this does not absolve us from pain, suffering,or fear in the process thereof. What it does do, is, it provides opportunity for our perceptions to grow, expand and ultimately transform ourselves. The truth is there will always be more to learn.....and I love that!
Have you ever marveled at the aspect of crossing a bridge while driving your car? Or, the amount of work and effort it took to secure its purpose and stability?
I have, and have felt nothing but gratitude for the intricate engineering that produced such a tool for crossing barriers.
Symbolically I liken the proficient engineering of the bridge to the true "master builder" of human lives, even Jesus Christ.
One can only realize the magnitude of this feat, by walking through "the bridges of life" with all it has to offer (hope, disparagement, joy, suffering, peace, contentment, and pain). This "master builder" not only created the means of crossing over, but supported. and still supports its purpose with HIS LIFE.
Imagine if you will, the "Lord" holding up the bridge while you decide whether to walk across it or not. Imagine how many times, you hesitated or walked away from these bridges of understanding, with HIM never leaving HIS post.
These "bridges" bring enlightenment
And through understanding,we not only give credit to "who or what" is holding us up, but wisely and heartily share these bridges with others......
Earned knowledge makes all the difference......
Will you make it be bitter or allow it to be sweet?
“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.” – Paulo Coelho
I've been considering the tenacity of Thomas Edison. With all the challenges he encountered, he never relented in trying one more time....Mr. Edison was no stranger to "life " happening all at once, and yet, something inside of him kept him moving forward. Not quitting. Always Looking under one more rock.... Yes, finding your niche, dream, true love, best friend, or fulfilling career; demands a perseverance beyond one's conscious processing. It must hail from your core, so deep, so embedded within you that nothing else will suffice.The key is to awaken it, and be willing to walk with it until you have arrived.
Superficiality towards a cause eventually crumbles, while constant application to your truth, your essential self as defined by Martha Beck (Finding your own North Star, 2001) brings you your greatest joy.
So, how willing are you to "keep looking, trying, working, and searching, until you create what you are truly meant to be?
(by the way, I completely recommend reading "Finding Your North Star")
Fear, with all its attachments suffocates your will to overcome.
In times of distress and call to action, one finds him/her self in a quandary. This quandary brings the true soul to the surface, and a decision is then made. We label individuals that perform courageous acts as heroic. Rightfully so we honor them with gratitude. But, what of the quiet angels that perform their heroic acts without notice? The ones that do what they do every day because it is simply a part of who they are. "IF" you recognize who they are in your life, BRAVO to you. "IF" not, start looking, because they are everywhere.... :) Happy searching!
I felt the wave of "enlightenment" this morning, as I was able to understand more clearly some memories of the past. The value of really listening to the messages your thoughts are giving you, is a gift to re-defining yourself. Through this process,I uncovered an old mutation attached to my present-day consciousness, which was forwarding "false" information again! The little beast moved right up to the forefront screaming: wait, I know, I know this one.... As incorrect as the mutation (information) was, it was "all" it understood to be true. This "mutated processing born from inexperience", was still attached to me. But the difference now was that I recognized it. Opportunity for change comes in many forms....
Time, coupled with trial/error have dispensed new tools to catch the nasty critters with. Don't you just love cleaning out the closet?! :)..............
How many times have you succeeded in accomplishing an event without practice? Practice, is the friend you didn't know you had. And like a good friend that won't lie to you, practice enables refinement.
I had another epiphany about fear and failure, and their true natures. We humans associate these two verbs with negative connotations, and the offshoot of this thought process imposes two adjectives "tired" and then "exhausted". But, "what if"(love those two words)they were the very catalysts to bringing our souls into real happiness? What if, experiencing fear and failure were opportunities to redefining yourself? What if, they are precious awakenings to the soul, that our perceptions need tweaking?
The truth is they are tweakers to our souls, gifts to help us remember who we really are and what we really want out of life. Real happiness is gained by fighting with everything you've got and then some. Real happiness is gained by "always getting back up"! Remember that "every" inch you conquer is still an inch step into happiness.
When we look in the mirror, we see the reflection of our physical selves. But when we peer into our subconscious thoughts, a different image emerges. This "peering" tells another story.
Can listening to the echos of your hidden story (subconscious) present you with another image of yourself?
Yes.
And how long you listen and acknowledge your inner workings, will make all the difference in you life.
Happy thought for the day!
Make yourself smile today with just one indulgence.
It's your choice.....
And you have every right to make it, no matter how hard your logic refutes it.
Living a life with pure logic without creativity entangles you in a cement web. And like a venomous black widow that has captured and paralyzed her victim; she comes in for the kill. My use of the word "kill" is intentional and graphic. But my hopes are to portray how unacknowledged fear can lead us to a thought processing that may not be beneficial for us. Little by little we lose ourselves and become too rigid in our thinking......
Past feeling, we become intolerant to those around us.
Strictly logical individuals claim that their safety net is sound reasoning. But if that sound reasoning is founded on personal fears, (the ones that are conceived from traumatic events or misconceptions),then it is a mutated thought. And if it is a mutated thought, then it's an unhappy way to live your life, whether you realize it now or later.
Collisions, a word that defines unwanted physical contact in one way or another. Many individuals that have experienced these events, are always left with shock, fear and anger. A few years ago I was involved in a "car" collision. I was at a stop sign patiently waiting my turn when another driver in an SUV didn't stop or look in my direction while making a right hand turn. She broadsided my car and wound up totaling it. Did I mention that I had just paid it off a month before? and that the money the insurance company manipulated me into taking, was not enough to get another car. I won't go into all the intricate details of the mess I now found myself in, but you get the jest of the matter. No car, little money, and seven children to feed. This collision event spiraled me into unwanted territory and I was angry, frustrated and emotional. This was my first car accident, so I was not well acquainted with the ridiculous games involved in such matters. I was not seasoned yet, but I was about to undergo the process(inexperience has a way of affording you information like that). The insurance agent assured me he had my best interests at heart, (more lessons to learn; sometimes they don't). After a month, he concluded with a take it or leave it ultimatum, that forced me to take the pittance they offered me. I wondered how people like this get away with so much in this life. The other driver still had her car, and went on with her life as usual. the insurance agent I'm sure was congratulated, for closing the case quickly and cheaply. But mine was turned upside down, and it felt as though these people resembled pontius pilot, did his little bit and washed his hands with the matter and then walked away. There are so many details attached to events like this that do not get addressed and you are basically left on your own to reinvent the wheel of your life again. Sink or swim, I chose to swim (and yes it felt upstream the whole way.
So the moral of this sad little story is...
Sometimes collisions in life have an easy fix or can be quite lengthy and complicated.
Sometimes we hurt other people without being fully aware of the pain or discomfort we are causing ( the woman that hit me was horrified at what she had done)
Collisions in our lives are opportunity's for learning, no matter how uncomfortable or painful.
Sometimes these collisions force us to face reality about people (insurance adjusters don't always have your best interest at hand), marriages do fall apart, people break their promises or lie, friends betray you, you may get sick or lose all your prized possessions for a variety of reasons.
The point is your higher self has a lot to gain from such experiences,and the challenge we as humans face, is accepting the shifts of life (eventually with grace).
The word "journey" to me depicts a variety in scenery, though the subjects may hail from a physical, emotional or mental place of your life, the variety makes all the difference because it displays all the possibilities of change.
Dreams--
As I walk towards the gate that has eluded me for so many years, a deep reverence passes before me.
I slow down and muse this coveted entrance and deep reflection washes over me.
Two quick emotions surface: reverence and annoyance.
Each one rightfully earned.
One depicts wisdom and the other human frailties.
Both have been essential in my life. And as I continue to seek other gates, (and I will),I shall hold my new friends dearly.
Any true understanding is an element not to be reckoned with. It surpasses any device we humans conjure up to dispel the outcome, and releases us from prison. When we don't seek to understand our fears (with all its's many labels), it becomes quite friendly to us. Characteristically it makes us look away, and nothing gets resolved. Looking away from our internal or external conflicts just feeds your stagnation. Face your beasts.....
Thanksgiving-- A day to remember how full our cups are...
I'm grateful for the gentle reminders of how really great this life is;even at the darkest moments. There is always a light on somewhere, I just have to look for it.
While enduring the pains and liberating effects of enlightenment,I came across profound information. I say profound because it derives from the hidden portion of my brain. Better labeled subconscious processing. In essence, old stories playing over and over again, until I am ready to say no more.
But how do we become ready? By asking ourselves "why" we feel the way we feel. And you keep asking why to every answer that surfaces until you reach the aha moment. The aha moment is characterized by: pensive silence, tears, a keen sense of release, complete awareness and finally peace.
One less mutation in your brain closet......
A garden is a place where many things live and die. These cycles of change (birth and death) are the essence of our natural world. Nothing stays the same. Everything has an opportunity for growth. A mere rock can be transformed into a wall, a tree into a table, water into ice, etc. It is interesting how we are eager to transform nature on many levels, but we tend to resist transforming emotional issues.
As I've pondered my own garden, and consider what I have planted and plucked, I realize that some roots run deeper than I would like, and are taking enormous effort to eradicate. This holds especially true with negative people in our lives. Sometimes its just better to learn from your mistakes, and start a new garden.
Had a dream last night where I missed taking the elevator because I forgot something in the house, so I decided to take the stairs instead. While descending I found garbage items in my path and instinctively started picking up the items to toss them out. There was one item I decided to keep, it was a plastic canister of soup. Soup reflects comfort and nourishment.... hmmmmm wonder what that means:) I've been battling between seeking employment or doing what I love to do, and my sense of financial responsibility has been choking my creative side. the truth is I need to take a chance on me, and do what I love to do now. I need to find other ways of doing what I love and still be responsible. Ugh, I feel much more uncomfortable moments heading my way......
Sitting in church today, I heard two elderly women having a marvelous conversation. One asked the other,how she was doing, the other replied "oh still fat and sassy". A midst my smile, I considered how beautifully they exchanged comments with one another. There were no pretenses, jealousies or competitions in their tones. Just being who they are and making the best of their situations. It made me reflect on how much I worry about this or that, how rushed I feel all the time,and how little I take full breaths throughout the day. These two angels reminded me to slow down, life happens, and sometimes you just can't change an outcome no matter how badly you want to. I'm going to take what I've been given today, kick back just a little bit more.....(well I wouldn't want by heart to go into cardiac arrest, after all that micromanaging, I need to ease myself into it!). And let life be what its going to be, despite my best efforts to resist it.
This life is an never-ending journey of discovery....... Just try and stay in one place and see what happens.... Things begin to swirl, poke and sneak up on you. Messages all geared to edify or bring down, the choice of course is still yours....What do you see?
Trust is the antithesis of fear....
When trust is missing in your life, it creates multiple levels of fear, and fear stagnates. In the movie "Water horse", Angus, petrified of water, overcomes his foreboding fear with his newly formed friend Caruso. This friend of course is a fictional character, but the message is still pertinent for each of us. At various times in our lives we will be thrust into facing our fears. Having someone to hold onto makes all the difference.
Still learning to walk differently here......though my imaginings for the task are not quite accurate, its ok. The point is : I'm still walking.
Idle time has a way of misinforming your essential self. It distracts you from creativity and feeds negative thinking.Idleness says you have no purpose and that can be very demeaning to your progression. No human being should ever be in a state of nothingness. Your value is determined by what you think; consciously Think Happy.....
Faith is determined by what we are trusting in...And how the object of your faith honors the gift you are giving them.
Light in the darkness..... Time and time again we walk through life wondering the why's , how's, and what's of our experiences. We can become defensive, defenselessness,indifferent
or proactive, the "choice" is ours and only ours to make.You see, you don't have any control as to how other people will react in your life, because they have a "choice" too...It really doesn't matter how many times you find yourself in darkness, what matters is how much you are still willing to see the "light" in the darkness. And that makes the difference in how, what and why you live your life.
The process of life is directed by environmental blueprints, instilled by the unconscious efforts of our parents. They (our parents)are also following blueprints from their parents. What every generation has the gift of discovering, is how those blueprints apply to them, and what they want to do with it. Every generation has the power to create new patterns "if " they wish.... Your beliefs will ultimately decide your life. So, be conscious of your thoughts, be honest with yourself and choose wisely.
How does rejection impact our lives? For some, it can be devastating, for others a call to arms. Do you ever wonder why such polar opposite reactions? I believe its because one attaches self worth to it , while the other one decides not to be defined by other peoples opinions. Giving too much energy to what others think of you is exhausting and crippling. Once you can truly figure that one out,you become a lot freer.
Life's essential messages are rooted in the environments you live in. What you are perceiving to be true, may not accurate. Do the messages breed negative or positive thoughts? Are these thoughts leading you to fulfilling outcomes? Forget the social self direction, and really listen to your essential self. Is it asking for something else? Are you brave enough to shift? Are you willing to step out of the clutches of fear? And see who you really are? Ask, listen, take action,and don't look back anymore.......
Sometimes we trudge through life without optimistic considerations of the benefits we unconsciously glean from. Such benefits become the building blocks of fortitude. What is sad, is that we forget them so easily.
Self, listen to yourself.
Life is funny.....
I don't know which is more difficult: living a life with too much comfort, (which stagnates your progression) or finally achieving a dream and learning to accept it without fear.
It seems both have a way of stunting your life, one blinds you to the needs of others and the other cripples you in accepting your own good. The waiting is the refiner of the latter, but along with this refinement comes emotional baggage to sift through. The former (having too much)demands outside intervention where control is no longer in your power. Shifting moments no matter how we see them at the time,help us to think differently.
People sometimes unwittingly define one another characteristically by colors. For instance, if I perceive myself a blue, I think like a blue, eat like a blue, and blue becomes how my eyes see the rest of the world. In essence, I am using particular perceptions formulated by my own experiences. This can become a problem when all I want to see is blue. This "one" color mentality is stagnating and destructive to society. Please give other colors a chance, you don't have all the answers and you never will. Our Father in Heaven made it possible for each of us to "expand our understanding" utilizing our associations with one another.
Happy Utilizing !!!!!! !
How often do we persecute another individual with our harsh judgments? Do these comments add to the segregation of society? Are we REALLY aware of what our words are producing? Get in touch with what you are telling yourself and others......you may be surprised at what you are hearing.
Oh the interactions of life.... We plan,fix, fight for,cry over and let go of so many things in the interim. Looking back at my life, I see much more now than I did at various intervals. What I considered a sore challenge, was merely a moment in life's lessons to edge me closer to knowledge.It was the uncomfortableness that would yield the greatest return. Wisdom is not fraught with the easy path!
And so it goes on......
The word “genius” goes back to Roman mythology. Each of us was born with a genius (or a juno, if you were a female). The genius was our guardian angel who looked out for our destiny. It represented what was unique about us. Even today, each of us is born with a genius. To succeed as a psychologist, you just have to find your genius, nurture it, and follow its advice. Let your genius be your guide to your true genius.
DR. DEAN SIMONTON. Social Psychologist
Retrieved from: http://careersinpsychology.org/interview/dr-dean-simonton/#.U9Us__ldWSo
My version of the previous statement by Dr. Simonton......
Really really listen to what your heart needs and asks for......... I truly believe its the denial of this that stunts and suffocates our true genius. The truth is, nothing and no one can do that without your permission.....no matter how difficult the journey or obstacles in your path, your outcome is still in your hands...
Sometimes you just need to crack the door open for someone, despite your constipated logic. Yes, I said constipated. It depicts a physical manifestation that blocks freedom. Looking at your life now, where are you blocked. What are you not letting go of? And what are you going to do about it?
Sometimes we forget that mental pain far surpasses the initial physical event. Please give yourself time to process this. Well meaning people offer advice and set time limits for you to be over it. If you are genuinely trying to overcome it and not creating another pity party of attention; time is set by YOU and no one else.
There are times in your life when you need to put out fires; and then there are those special moments when you just have to let them burn.....
In other words: " stepping in or letting go"....
Ever wonder why some people can change negative behavior and other cannot ? Too many stories playing in the subconscious that are not being addressed....
So, get familiar with the stories going on in your head.
Turtles.....
The pace in which they move through life is interesting. They are described as the wiser half, when compared to the hare on the way to the finish line. In considering the messages from this story, we surmise:
one has physical limitations that prevents agility and speed, but has the time to really see life and live in the moment. The other one has sprightly attributes that provides effortless movement and freedom, but rushes through life and is ultimately misled by this ease.
In the world we live in, it seems we are more rushed and engulfed with convenience than ever before. And following the adage: "stop and smell the roses" has to be consciously scheduled. There is great wisdom depicted in this story, the turtle clearly has more time to understand himself and the path before him. Labeled slow but steady earns him the victory in the end. The hare with all his freedom of movement and high-spirited nature, is in such a rush to get there; that he has no time for other things and eventually burns out. Ever wonder how much you are missing worrying about just stuff? Stuff, that you are convinced you need?
How much of "getting there" is consuming your life and how much is hurting you and others? You'll never know the answer to that one until you "turtle" it. Yes, I said "turtle it". Its my new catch phrase for refocusing. The truth is, I'd rather slow myself down before life's refinement opportunities come knocking on my door (i.e. health issues)
So today, I am reminding you to embrace a turtle mentality, slow down, breath, look around and feel. You'll be surprised at how much good can come out of all this. Its the first step into changing your life for the better. Turtle or Hare, which are you? You choose.
What does it take to "be" in the moment? For some it requires concentrated effort, and yet for others...its a way of life.
I am reminded of a comment made from one friend to another in the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun" one is stressing about life, and the other one has lived it. A story was shared about a search for lady bugs and the fact that the harder she tried looking for them the less she could ever find one. But when she stopped to lie down on the grass,(no doubt from exhaustion) she woke up to lady bugs crawling all over her. So the moral of this story is:
After you have done all you can do, remember that "There is a time to swim upstream and then there is a time to let things be, "And let it come to you".... So when you know, you really know you've done your part, let the "lady bugs " come to you.
The weather is cooling off and the beautiful fall colors are surfacing! I love this time of year, there is something in it that brings internal warmth despite the dropping temperatures. Day in and day out I drink in the atmosphere it is creating. How often do we really "drink in" atmospheres? You know the ones that fill you with something different than what you have been living with? What causes you to stop and feel, listen or smile? Letting life distract us from the moments that bring joy is a life only half lived. Find one of your joy's, and remember to drink it in until it fills you.........
What have you left simmering in your life? What hasn't been allowed to surface? For me, its accepting things as they really are right now. I've been fighting the financial roller coaster far longer than I ever thought I would. A back injury at work 6 years ago changed my life forever. And Iv'e been trying to recoup ever since.....Part of my challenge is finding another means of employment, which hasn't been easy to say the least. For now I keep looking.....
Continual looking, seems to feed my self worth for a little while. At least I'm trying... I have this idea that if I keep looking for that job, it will pay off in the end. Its been 6 years....Thousands of applications, some interviews and many rejection letters....
I suppose I should look at how my patience levels serve me. Is there something else I should be doing besides applying to jobs that are wasting my time. It's hard to be creative when you are worried about just living..... Ahhhh more lessons coming! I can feel it:)
Had a great conversation with my daughter tonight. (a common occurrence between us) Jen and I talked about relationships and the factors that produce healthy ones and not so healthy ones... I so enjoy enlightening conversations where truth is defined by a desire to understand, instead of truth propagated by narrow perceptions. I love you jen.....
Thank you!
Its so important to hear what the other person is saying before you interject your one-sided perception in defense of yourself..... It really helps to clarify the real problem.
Looking back has its advantages.... But, it's important to remember that you are only there to further your understanding of the event. Scan this room of memory carefully. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions are asking to be acknowledged. Breath, feel, breath some more and then leave when you're ready. A word of caution..... "If" you start to feel the pings of negativity and self pity rising within you, leave; because this is no longer beneficial to your healing. Understanding and healing from your pain, requires looking at it from different angles. In doing so, it can expand your perspective and ultimately become a great source of freedom for you. Painful moments cant heal while we continue to swim around in them.
When referring to a scripture in 2 Corinthians 7: 9, I found myself reflecting the words and their application to me. First and foremost it is clear that he paid the ultimate and infinite sacrifice for me. Secondly, I ask myself if my own belief system somehow has accepted the need for my own "poverty" to prove worthy? It is self reflection time here, at a much deeper level. I wonder how much we "take on" in hopes of being more like him? Is this "taking on" necessary...
It is true we are to try to emulate his examples of love, sacrifice and charitable nature. But it does not require me to accept an impoverished lifestyle to be an avid follower.
"He" would not want that. "He" wants me to progress and find joy in all that I attain in this life, including money. I discovered an old story surfacing again about money and the evil it represents.
Yes, money like anything else can be used for evil, but this is not so in my case. And I know it. Redirecting erroneous thoughts today :)
Mental images can be debilitating at times, and understanding that; opens a door for healing. An important thing to remember is that the "images" do not define us, nor should we allow them to keep us prisoner. Past mistakes and traumatic events do resurface from time to time, but its important to not allow them to haunt us and cripple self worth. The brain is a computer that stores information, but that information is not always correct. Depending on your emotional maturity, and severity of the event, erroneous perceptions can be formulated. Thereby making the "images" more painful. Give yourself some time to process and look at the event/images from different angles. Talk to someone, journal, and forgive yourself so that you can move on. Overtime, the images will no longer hold you at bay from progression and further understanding will breed peace. Breath, breath a lot, and be kind to yourself and know that images coupled with erroneous thoughts never satiate the soul.
Loved ones are never really forgotten in the hearts of those that truly love them.
Watched a set of parents and loved ones pay their last respects to their baby girl. Words of comfort were offered as well as unspoken acts of service. I considered these things and watched with a sympathetic heart as time and time again tears flooded our faces from aching hearts for this family's loss. And yet, as we pondered how precious and short life can be at times; something very beautiful happened..... The parents of this child, as well as many others fought from every level to give this child "more" life. It was taken on with a ferocious tenacity that only a parent understands when defending their child from pain, danger or death. As I reviewed the words being spoken to this family, they all described a pure child that came here to gain a body and teach the rest of us many things. While I don't doubt this was true, another thought went right through me, which filled my heart with an understanding I can barely describe. This child not only gained a body but took back with her a testimony of "human, unconditional love". Fostered from the cares of many, "she" also learned.... She learned what it was like to be loved by parents, an older brother, extended family,friends and many others. She accurately has been described as a gift and an angel to many... but what a gift "the many" also gave to her....... Isn't that what it's all about? The giving and receiving of unconditional love is more precious than we sometimes know.....
Transformation begins when you decide that no roadblocks (and learn to name them) will deter you. It matters not how many turns you need to take... what matters, is that you take them....
It has been a while, I've been traveling through life events from the past and looking at truth with humility and respect. The word "humility" denotes specific things to me. As I looked up the definition from various locations on google, I found explanations describing humility as: lack of pride, not valuing self, modest opinion, being in awe of another person and the list goes on....for me, humility describes something else. Humility to me, means openness...The ability to see and acknowledge someone else's goodness/talent. It is not self-deprecating in any way. But rather an offering of seeing that something else has value too.
For me, there is an air of equality as "one" acknowledges the gifts of "another". No competition here.... Oh What would the world be like if we all valued one another's talents in such a way:)
It has been a while... I've been looking at life from different angles and appreciating the journey more and more. Though fragile, mastering resiliency and empowerment from and through clarity ( which can be painful at times) is exquisite :)
More to follow....
The ability to accept "shifting" in your life is a profound way of saying...I am worth it.
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